Not the 2021 film of the same name. This verse was written by me in December 2020 as the terrible physical, social, and economic reality of the Covid-19 pandemic was becoming apparent and the vaccine programme was yet to cast its magic spell. It was intended as a performance poetry piece but the times made that impossible. Hopefully, as the world slowly adapts to the new reality of living with this virus Christmas is Cancelled will become just a tiny piece of satirical social commentary about a particular time in all our lives.
Should the verse survive the inevitable decay associated with web publication I have included a ‘Dramatis Personae’ section at the bottom of the page to provide some context now that some of those referred to are out of the media headlines. That should also assist future historians of our era. In our increasingly digital world preservation is ever more difficult because what is here today may disappear tomorrow so the golden rule is LOCKSS, i.e. Lots of Copies Keeps Stuff Safe so do feel free to copy and disseminate this, but do remember to credit Dada de Dada as the source.
Children are weeping Tears pour from their eyes For Santa is furloughed No time for goodbyes His elves now sell masks To passing reindeer And rumours are growing Christmas is cancelled this year. Poor taste and a fever With cough is a sign Which may come to nothing Or consume all your time Only the turkeys are thankful And full of good cheer On hearing the message Christmas is cancelled this year. Meanwhile … The Commander Boris And Saint Nicola too Extol the necessity Of what they must do But Cummings’ goings Made the message less clear So is it only for some Christmas is cancelled this year? London to Scotland She travelled by train Ferrier shared her infection Then sought to explain So the people are now In no mood to hear That just for them Christmas is cancelled this year. Meanwhile … The Donald’s trumpet Wasn‘t sounding too good Dr Hubris attended But his patient was rude No need for a mask No need for fear But for everyone else Christmas is cancelled this year. Till ‘Sleepy’ Joe Biden Woke to the task For ‘Fake News’ King He did soundly unmask That Narcissus did rage Infecting truth with fear So no one will listen, if Christmas is cancelled this year. Meanwhile … The shops and stores Pray business be brisk And all the consumers Would just ignore risk And Government shed Tier upon tier So avoiding the blame, if Christmas is cancelled this year. Meanwhile … No presents or holly No mistletoe kiss Grandad and grandma We’ll just have to miss Keep your distance Don’t get too near Instead embrace the new normal Christmas is cancelled this year. Best remember this tale As you gather and mix This plague will get you At one more than six So just hug and kiss Those you hold dear So they’re not at the party, when Christmas is cancelled next year.
Dramatis Personae
Boris Johnson – When Christmas is Cancelled was written in 2020 Boris Johnson had been Prime Minister of the UK and Leader of the Conservative Party since 2019. Mr Johnson’s early hubris over the Covid 19 virus was replaced by unpleasant reality when he became a victim of the disease. He was admitted to hospital when his condition deteriorated. He appears to have recovered, although his critics assert not fully.
Dominic Cummings – When Christmas is Cancelled was written in 2020 the ex-director of the Brexit Vote Leave campaign he has been Chief Adviser (quasi Chief of Staff, consigliere) to Boris Johnson since the latter’s elevation (selection) to high office. Despite an apparent preference for working in the background Cummings was dragged into the limelight during the Covid 19 crisis. He has been heavily criticised for being one of the architects of a ‘lock-down’ policy which he himself undermined. He drove to his family’s farm in Durham on 27 March 2020 from London during the height of the England lock-down phase of the pandemic while knowing his wife was already unwell with Covid 19 and he was likely to sucumb. He asserted he did not become unwell until the 28 March 2020 and took to his bed. On 12 April 2020 he has recovered sufficiently to drive some 30 miles to the market town of Barnard Castle in Teesdale allegedly as a test of his fitness to make the drive back to London.
Nicola Sturgeon – First Minister of Scotland and Leader of the Scottish National Party since 2014. When Christmas is Cancelled was written in 2020, as the leader of Scotland’s devolved government she had been viewed as a capable manager during the pandemic crisis of 2020. The application of Scotland wide social constraint policies, however, has created tensions because many less populated parts of the country have little if any infections whereas the densly populated central belt has suffered greatly. The behaviour of one of her Scottish National Party MPs has also reflected negatively on the party (see below).
Margaret Ferrier – A Scottish National Party Member of UK Parliament since 2019. She was alleged to have attended the UK Parliament in London and then travelled back to Scotland by train despite knowing she was infected with Covid 19. She then refused to resign her seat when asked to do so by her leader Nicola Sturgeon and when Christmas is Cancelled was written in 2020 she had been suspended by the party and was under police investigation. She has since left politics.
Donald Trump – When Christmas is Cancelled was written in 2020 Donald Trump had been President of the United States since 2017. Mr Trump’s naturally hubristic style may have played well with his core constituencies but the Covid 19 virus was less impressed when it infected the US President. In 2020 Mr Trump appeared to project his encounter with the virus as an example of his almost superhuman abilities to overcome adversity. The US electorate decided in November 2020 that he did not, in reality, have any superpowers. His Democrat opponent Vice President Jo Biden won the Electoral College and popular vote majority but Donald Trump disrupted the transition process with behaviours that seem more in keeping with a would-be despot rather than a president of the world’s lead democracy. The turbulence he initiated continues to this day.
The Grinch – The cynical and misanthropic fictional character in the childrens’ book How the Grinch Stole Christmas! (Dr Seuss, 1957) who had a particular hatred for Christmas and sets out to destroy it. The story, however, has a redemptive and positive ending and so we must wish the same proves true in the current challenge to our ways of life.